


Remember

by GirlOnFire101



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 20:12:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlOnFire101/pseuds/GirlOnFire101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss and Peeta are celebrating their 21st wedding anniversary, along with their children. Katniss is taken on a trip down memory lane, and remembers the events that took place after Peeta's return from the Capitol. <br/>Rated mature for language and future chapters. Sexual content in later chapters. Describes what happened between the end of Mockingjay and the epilogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thought I'd write another story along with the AU I'm currently writing (feel free to check it out (: ). This is just the introduction to the story. Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> //I do not own the Hunger Games series, all credit for original characters and ideas goes to Suzanne Collins--simply a fanfic//

“Mommy! Daddy!”

I’m awoken by the familiar sounds of little voices and footsteps parading down the hallway. Peeta stirs beside me, rubbing at his eyes and turning to me, smiling. 

Two little figures throw open the door and climb onto the bed, the smaller one having a slightly harder time than his sister.  
They finally settle in front of Peeta and I, sitting cross legged and side-by-side, little eyes still puffy from sleep.

“Mommy, you said today was a special day,” the girl--my daughter--six year old Zara says, giving me a pointed look. 

I laugh softly and nod, glancing over at Peeta.   
“I did say that, and it is. Do you know why?” I ask, smiling as both she and her little brother shake their heads furiously. 

Peeta sits up, pulling our two year old son, Kaiden, into his lap and poking his chubby stomach. “It’s mommy and daddy’s anniversary,” he tells them. 

Zara cocks her head to the side, confused. “What’s a ‘versary?” 

Peeta and I laugh, and I begin to explain. “It’s the day of the year that we got married, silly girl. And today marks the 21st year that mommy and daddy have been married.”

The little girl’s big blue eyes grow wider, “That’s a very, very, very long time, mommy!” 

I smile and glance over at Peeta, who’s looking at our children, a look of absolute adoration on his face.   
And it makes me happy.   
It makes me happy to know that he’s happy with his life, and I’m happy too. After everything we’ve gone through, everything we’ve experienced, we’ve been able to find some sense of normalcy, and have a great life, together. 

He senses me watching him, and turns to look at me, his blue eyes twinkling. After all these years, looking into those big, perfectly blue eyes still makes my heart race. I see the familiar traces of love, and even desire reflected back at me.   
Though, it’s been so long, I still remember the times when his eyes were clouded, and distant; troubled by the constant fear and insecurities. It hasn’t been like that for years, and I’m grateful that he was finally able to overcome the biggest obstacle in his life, and that I was there to help him through it.   
It wasn’t easy—none of it was. But our experiences made us stronger, and allowed us to have the life we have today. 

Staring back into those beautiful eyes, I’m thrown back in time. Memories flood my mind, the good, the bad, and the ones in between. 

Staring back at my husband, I’m taken on a trip down memory lane.  
My surroundings blur around me, and transform into a vision of the same man, only younger, standing beside my house, shovel in hand, staring back at me with a look of confusion and shock on his face. 

And that’s where it all began...again.


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to be writing the flashbacks as if they’re happening in present time, because Katniss is sort of re-living them as she thinks of them. I thought I should share so I don’t cause any confusion and sound like I’m mixing up my tenses! Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!22 years earlier…

22 years earlier…

“You’re back.”

He stands there, staring back at me, speaking words I’m not really listening to. He clenches the shovel in his hand, still poised above the primrose bush he had just been planting beside my house. His eyes scan me, and I suddenly feel self-conscious.

I hadn’t exactly taken care of myself since I’d gotten back from the Capitol. I’d been a shell of who I used to be. I quickly raise a hand to my head, patting down the knotted, dirty hair that was once soft and shiny. I know I look a mess. I haven’t been eating—even though Greasy Sae is trying her best to keep me fed—I haven’t been sleeping properly, I haven’t been bathing, speaking or moving much. 

At that moment, looking down at the boy who used to be such a big part of my life, I realize what I’m doing to myself. 

Without another word, I scramble back into the house, slamming the door behind me. I stand there a moment, back against the door, staring into space, and try to figure out the sudden increase in my heart rate. 

He’s back. Here. District twelve. Home. 

After what must have been months of being cooped up in the Capitol, no doubt undergoing treatment after treatment, he came back here. Of all the places he could go, he came back here, the place he used to call home. The home that was destroyed, and contains the ashes of his dead family, because of me. 

But why here? Why did he come back here, when he could have such a better life in some other district? 

My heart begins to quicken again at my next thought. Maybe he came back for me. 

Before I can jump to any extreme conclusions, I race up the stairs to my bedroom. I fall at the top step, but ignore the pain in my right knee, and make my way to the bathroom.  
I hop into the shower, staying in long after the water runs cold. After toweling off, I put on some clean clothes and return downstairs to find Greasy Sae at the stove.

She turns around, visibly surprised to see me somewhat presentable.   
She offers to comb my hair, and does so in front of the fireplace while the dinner she’s making simmers on the stove. 

I sit there as she detangles my hair, watching the flames in the fireplace rise and fall. I stare into the flames, and decide then and there that maybe life isn’t so bad after all.   
There have been points in my life, since returning from the Capitol, that I’ve been entirely sure life was not worth living anymore. I’ve thought about suicide, for the second time since I was locked in that cell, awaiting my trial results. I’ve even attempted it once more.   
Late one night, after having been woken up by a terrible nightmare, I’d just decided I had enough. There was nothing and no one left to live for. So, I found myself in the kitchen, swallowing the remaining pain pills left in the prescription bottle Dr. Aurelius had sent home with me from the Capitol. Greasy Sae had been given strict instructions not to allow me to get my hands on the pills, and she was only required to give me one tablet when I was in extreme pain. But I was lucky, because that night, she’d forgotten to lock the cupboard the tiny bottle was stored in.   
I downed the whole bottle, and, at some point, passed out. Unfortunately for me, there wasn’t a large enough dose left to bring death. Greasy Sae found me the next morning, and after a few days of intense supervision, I was fine again.   
All I’d wanted was to end the pain, and the suffering. To end the constant memories of the deaths of innocent people, particularly my sister.

The flames dancing in front of me remind me of that day, the day my precious baby sister was taken from me. There had been flames that day, many of them. I have scars to prove it.   
But the scars aren’t only reminders of that horrible day, when the most important person in my life died, they’re reminders that I have gotten through it all.   
I survived. I have endured not only the heat and pain of being burned, but the events that I’ve been a part of leading up to that point. 

My scars are reminders that, though I have been burned—both in a literal and non-literal sense---I made it through it all. I am survivor. And maybe, if I made it through everything so far, I can make it through the rest of my life too. 

Greasy Sae and I eat together again, and for once, I have a healthy appetite. I eat more than I have at one time in weeks, and I can see the surprise and satisfaction on Sae’s face.   
I’m not totally sure what has sparked the renewed interest in life inside of me, but I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with a certain blonde haired, blue eyed boy.

After Sae leaves for the evening, I head straight to bed, exhausted from the day’s events. Though there weren’t very many of them, I’m still not accustomed to doing anything but sitting in a chair all day.   
As I lay in bed, I decide I’m going to try to rebuild my strength, and stamina, until maybe I will be able to go hunting again, like old times. 

My heart begins to ache as I remember what the ‘old times’ were; hunting with Gale. I shake my head at the thought. Gale is no longer a part of my life. I have no desire to have him in my life anymore; I’d made that decision when he came to see me in the Capitol. 

Pushing all thoughts of my former best friend aside, I curl under the blankets and drift into a surprisingly peaceful sleep. 

A few days pass, and Sae and I eat together, she cleans, I wander around the house, and sometimes into the yard for a few hours. Then, she makes dinner, we eat again, she goes home and I lay in bed, trying to convince myself that tomorrow will be the day I make an attempt to get back into the woods.   
That never happens, though.   
After about a week, Peeta begins joining us for breakfast. He brings bread or cinnamon buns, and we all eat together, usually in silence. They help me. Sae helps me in and out of the shower, and coaxes food down my throat. Peeta includes me in little games with Sae’s granddaughter, and sometimes Buttercup. I don’t talk to him much, and mostly just watch him. It becomes a routine.

One morning I wake to voices coming from downstairs. I shuffle out of bed and into the hallway, straining my ears to hear better.   
I can’t help the smile that breaks across my face when I hear his voice. His low chuckle as he speaks to Sae, and the increase in pitch his voice takes on when he communicates with who I assume to be Sae’s granddaughter, Payten. 

Running a hand through my hair, I make my way down the stairs. I know they hear me coming, but no one breaks conversation.   
For a reason I can’t quite put my finger on, this angers me. 

I enter the kitchen, and take a seat at the table, not bothering to look up at the three already gathered around the table.   
This doesn’t seem to be a problem, because they continue their conversation, not even bothering to acknowledge my presence. 

I can’t help but feel hurt, and slightly abandoned. I thought they were here to help me. But instead, the only thing they’re doing is ignoring me. Even little Payten doesn’t so much as look over at me.   
I bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from doing something stupid like cry. 

After a few moments, Sae stands from her chair and brings us each a plate of steaming oatmeal, topped with fresh berries.  
I dig in right away, thankful to have something to occupy myself with.   
Payten does the same, growing very quiet, aside from the clanking of her silverware and the occasional giggle she lets out for no apparent reason. 

Peeta and Sae continue their conversation, and still make no effort to include me, or glance in my direction. I make no effort to jump in either, and become increasingly annoyed as the breakfast goes on. 

Finally, I have enough, and smash my hand down on the table, causing the three others to jump and look my way.   
At least they looked at me. 

“So this is how it’s going to be, is it? Ignore the crazy girl and maybe she’ll go away? Have you noticed you didn’t even attempt to talk to me this morning? Let alone look at me? For people who are supposed to be helping me, you sure as hell aren’t doing a very good job. How am I supposed to get better when the only thing you’re doing is ignoring me?” I growl, glaring at each of them in turn. 

Peeta shakes his head, and scoffs slightly. 

He opens his mouth to speak but I raise my hand to silence him. 

“Don’t bother, Peeta. I don’t know why you’re even here if all you’re going to do is make things worse,” I spit. 

He raises his eyebrows, and I can tell by the way that he shifts in his chair that he’s getting angry as well. 

Before he can speak, Sae rises from her chair, eyes trained on me. 

“You really are something, girl. We been respectin’ your privacy, and lettin’ you do as you please since the moment you stepped foot on home soil,” she says, shaking her head as she clears away the dishes. 

“Ever since you got home, it’s all been about you, Katniss. I’m not saying you didn’t need the help, it was apparent to everyone that you did. But the thing is, you haven’t been trying to get better,” Peeta steps in, also rising from his chair. 

Feeling attacked, I stand as well, letting my chair fall to the ground. The loud noise causes Payten to cry out, cover her ears and dash into the living room, burying her face into the couch cushion. 

Sae sighs and mutters under her breath, following her granddaughter into the other room. 

“How would you know I haven’t been trying to get better? You’ve been locked up, under Capitol doctor surveillance. Until just a few days ago, you were still considered ‘unstable’ and a ‘threat’ yourself. You have no right to tell me what I have and haven’t been doing. You haven’t been here,” I accuse, crossing my arms across my chest. 

He looks stunned for a moment, almost as if I’ve hurt him in some way. A part of me wants to apologize immediately, and take it back. The other, stronger part of me, wants to stand my ground, and wins out over the apology. 

He takes a deep breath and meets my eyes. I find myself having to remember to breathe. 

“You’re right. I haven’t been here. I have been being watched by Dr. Aurelius. Though there is a difference between you and me, Katniss. I have been working hard to get better, to get back to the person I used to be. You on the other hand, have been sitting in your house, feeling sorry for yourself for the past month and a half. How do I know that? Haymitch, Greasy Sae, even Dr. Aurelius know it, Katniss, so there’s no way you can deny that is what you’ve been doing since you got home.

“You expect us to throw everything aside, and help you. To abandon everything we’re doing because you’ve entered a room. But you know what? That isn’t how you recover. That’s how you become dependent on others, and turn into a person who can no longer function on their own. Is that what you want? It sure as hell isn’t what the old Katniss would’ve wanted to become. What happened to the Katniss who hated having other people do things for her? What happened to the Katniss who was level headed, and determined, and worked for what she needed? That Katniss is the one that’s going to help you get better. Not this person you’ve become.”

I stand there and stare back at him, my hands clenching and unclenching into fists. 

I’m trying to formulate a response when he begins to speak again. 

“I know I’m not fully healed. I still have my bad days…the days when the episodes, as Dr. Aurelius calls them, take over. I know it’s going to take me a while to truly recover. But I also know that I’m going to keep working towards getting better, and I’m not going to stop, or depend on anyone else to get me there. The only way you’re going to become who you used to be, Katniss, is if you work towards it, and if you want it,” He finishes, sighing and dropping back into his chair. 

We stay like that, me standing, him sitting, staring at each other until Sae walks back into the room, holding little Payten’s hand. 

She looks from me to him, and then to the floor, and I know she heard every word. I know she agrees with him.

In a way, I know Peeta’s right. He hasn’t been locking himself away, only coming out when someone is there to help him, and he seems to be doing much better.   
But I can’t admit that. Admitting that he’s right is admitting that I’m weaker than him. And it just isn’t in my blood to do that. 

“Get out.”


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I've been incredibly busy and had no time to write! This is just a short chapter, but hopefully I'll have more for you soon! Feedback is much appreciated! Thanks for reading!:)

Peeta stares at me for a moment, my words hanging in the air between us. Sae sighs and tugs on her granddaughter’s hand, pulling her into the hallway and out the door. 

Peeta doesn’t so much as move, and I stand my ground, hands on my hips, challenging him in a way. After what seems like forever, he scoffs and shakes his head, looking to his feet.  
“This isn’t what I expected. They said you were bad, really down on yourself and almost hopeless, but I had hope. Sure, you’ve improved a little since I’ve seen you, but, deep down, apparently you haven’t healed at all.” 

With that he turns on his heel and walks out the door, slamming it behind him. I’m frozen in place for a moment, his words still swimming in my mind. He had hope? He was worried about me and my condition? This thought brings to life a bunch of new questions, but one wins out over all the others. 

Needing to get the answer to this question, I find myself racing down the hallways, following Peeta out the door. I jump down the front stairs and turn to see him walking up the stairs into his own house. 

“Why did you come back?”

He stops and cranes his neck to look at me. There’s a look of something that seems to be sadness in his eyes, and he shakes his head at me again.  
“Why do you think, Katniss?” He replies, sighing and continuing into his house, shutting the door behind him. 

I growl under my breath, that wasn’t an answer.  
I stomp up to his house, and barge through the door. He’s standing in the hallway, his back to me, and stiffens slightly when he hears me.  
“Why did you come back?” I repeat, more sternly this time.

He sighs loudly and slowly turns around to face me. His eyes scan my face, and then come up to meet my own. 

“For you.”

Those two words are enough to send me running right back home and straight into my bedroom, locking the door and the rest of the world out.  
It can’t be possible. Peeta was so...damaged, so different last time I saw him in the Capitol. Everything Snow did to him completely changed who he was and what he felt.  
Or so I thought. 

Is there a possibility that this Peeta here in District Twelve, is the same Peeta from before? I highly doubt it. He has gone through too much to be the same. He hated me, wanted to kill me. He came back for me? It makes no sense. 

I throw myself onto my bed and groan, burying my face into my pillow.  
Why does this boy with the bread matter to me so much? Why did it hurt me so much that he hated my guts, although he had the utmost right to? Why did his presence here ignite some kind of spark inside of me to at least clean myself up?  
Why does Peeta Mellark mean so much to me?  
I’ve never been very good at emotions, or feelings, or anything of that sort. It’s been no secret either. I don’t deal with these things very well, so I choose not to deal with them at all. Is there a chance that there is some kind of hidden emotion or feeling that I have connected with Peeta? 

Is it…

I quickly shake my head and yank the covers over me. That’s enough thinking for one day.  
I fall into a dreamless sleep.

**  
I wake once again to voices downstairs. 

‘So they think they can just act like yesterday never happened?’ I mutter to myself as I slide out of bed and creep down the stairs. 

I manage to descend silently, and tip toe through the hallway, peering into the kitchen. To my surprise, Peeta’s the only one there. He’s working away at something on the counter top, singing—quite terribly—to himself. 

It amazes me how he has ignored everything that happened yesterday, and still showed up to make me breakfast this morning. I’m just beginning to wonder if what he said yesterday was true, when he turns suddenly. His eyes land on me and he jumps slightly. 

“Definitely a hunter you are, I didn’t hear you get up,” he chuckles, turning back to the counter and picking up the tray. “Cheese buns. Your favourite, right?” He smiles, and for a moment I’m sure my heart stops beating. 

He’s still smiling at me, when all of a sudden, I sense a change. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but something is definitely different. I look towards the door to see if maybe Sae and Payten have shown up as well, and find no one there. I turn back to Peeta, and can’t help but let out a small gasp. 

Peeta stands there, tray still in hand, though now his knuckles are white, for he’s clenching the tray with incredible force. His whole body is rigid, and his eyes are no longer the beautiful clear blue they always are. His eyes are clouded and grey, his pupils completely dilated. His jaw clenches and unclenches, and on impulse I take a step backwards.  
It’s been a while since I’ve seen one, but I know this is for certain.

Peeta’s having an episode.


End file.
